Right off the bat, I\u2019m going to have to regretfully turn you down. I just can\u2019t see us publishing Human Genome<\/i> in anything like its current form. Look, I Ioved the twists and turns \u2013\u00a0was actually a little dizzy by the end. But whenever you think it\u2019s about to go somewhere, it just spirals round again. I guess it\u2019s a little highbrow for us.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t be discouraged, though. Writers write right? Please do send us any future stories for consideration.<\/p>\n
Best,<\/p>\n
The Editor
\nAmazing Tales<\/i><\/p>\n
_____________________________________________<\/p>\n
Thank you for your interest in our little magazine, but we will have to respectfully decline the privilege of publishing Human Genome.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
While we do not doubt of the sincerity of your artistic vision, we\u2019re afraid that, to us, HuGen<\/i> is a mess; patchy, confusing, overly complicated and lacking not just depth or any discernible literary qualities whatsoever, but even such fundamentals as plot or character. It wouldn\u2019t be a first draft by any chance?\u00a0 To be blunt, insofar as the work of ninety-nine monkeys bashing on typewriter keys while awaiting the arrival of the hundredth monkey could be called a work in progress, then \u2013\u00a0yes \u2013\u00a0HuGen<\/i> betrays all the signs of being such a work in progress.<\/p>\n
Do you even know what you are trying to achieve?<\/p>\n
Also, the ending is junk.<\/p>\n
Yours,<\/p>\n
Submissions Editor _____________________________________________<\/p>\n You know, when we opened your letter in the office we were all blown away. And that doesn\u2019t happen often. I\u2019m not making a joke about the sad sad death threats we get from rabid and sexually-unfufilled feminists either.<\/p>\n Hap, the managing editor and biggest pervert around \u2013\u00a0haha, he knows I\u2019m kidding, why do you think they employed me? \u2013\u00a0was all for scrapping our centrespread \u201cBusty Blondes in Post-Industrial Wastelands\u201d\u00a0and<\/i> cancelling half the classifieds space even at the risk of losing the business of many of our long-time advertisers just to make room for your contribution. Here we said to ourselves is something our readers could really get worked up about if you know what I mean. Protein-coding genes, noncoding RNA, transposons, miscellaneous heterochomatin. Hell, it\u2019s fifty Our Fathers and a cold shower for me after just writing that, you filth-merchant.<\/p>\n Haha. I\u2019m joking of course. Couldn\u2019t understand a word.<\/p>\n Readers Editor _____________________________________________<\/p>\n
\nThe Narwhal Review<\/em><\/p>\n
\nRiveters and Welders Almanac<\/em><\/p>\n