{"id":580,"date":"2013-03-04T07:56:42","date_gmt":"2013-03-03T20:56:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/conspiracyofwords.com\/?p=580"},"modified":"2013-03-04T07:56:42","modified_gmt":"2013-03-03T20:56:42","slug":"4-march-1678-birth-of-antonio-vivaldi-italian-composer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/conspiracyofwords.com\/?p=580","title":{"rendered":"4 March 1678 \u2013\u00a0Birth of Antonio Vivaldi, Italian composer"},"content":{"rendered":"

A large office. Grey, white and polished steel reflective surfaces create a self-referential and sterile space. The only decorations on the wall are 6 gold and 3 platinum records framed and hung behind the massive desk that occupies the focal point of the room. The desk is empty except for a carafe and glass of water. Tommy Mottola (former head of Sony Music, but pre-Sony days) sits in a grey leather chair behind the desk, chuckling quietly as he contemplates a message on his smart phone. Tommy is dressed in mogul chic \u2013\u00a0suit jacket over black jeans and dark t-shirt. Entering left, Antonio Vivaldi comes into the office. He looks harried, is dressed in pantaloons, doublet and travelling cloak, and is clutching a sheaf of manuscript paper. Mottola looks up, smiles broadly at Vivaldi, glances again at the screen of his phone before placing it face down on the desk.<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Tony! You\u2019re not returning my calls.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: Antonio. And you \u2013\u00a0what?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi starts fishing in his cloak\u2019s voluminous pocket for his mobile phone.<\/i><\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>:\u00a0 I didn\u2019t see any… Did you leave a message?<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Nah, I\u2019m just messing with you, Tony \u2013<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: \u2013 Antonio \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: A\u2019course I haven\u2019t been calling you. Who has time to make calls to the artists these days? I don\u2019t have a business to run?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: No, I never said \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: I\u2019m just messing with you, Tony. You\u2019re my guy, right? Gold records 1699 and 1701.\u00a0 Platinum in 1702. Best-selling artist across two centuries. When you\u2019re happy, I\u2019m happy. When you\u2019re not happy, I\u2019m thinking, \u2018Who I got to whack to make Tony happy?\u2019 Right?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: \u2013 Antonio \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Exactly. Just say the word and he\u2019s history.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: No, I don\u2019t need anybody whacked. It\u2019s \u2013<\/p>\n

He urgently places the sheets of paper onto Tommy Mottola\u2019s desk. They spread and cover Mottola\u2019s phone.<\/i><\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: Look. I\u2019ve got this idea. Sketches. Melodies. Instrumentation.<\/p>\n

Mottola shuffles the paper around for a moment, nonplussed.<\/i><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Okay. What we got?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: Concertos. Violin. Four violin concertos.<\/p>\n

Mottola pauses a moment, looking blankly between Vivaldi and the pages on his desk.<\/em><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: You, uh? Concertos. OK. You have brought me concertos.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: What do you mean? You haven\u2019t even looked at \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: No, it\u2019s just that \u2013\u00a0I mean, five hundred concertos. You\u2019ve already written five hundred frikkin\u2019 concertos. You don\u2019t think you milked that cow dry? How long can you pull on the same teat, Tony?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: But I \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola stands and begins to mime, badly, playing a violin, at the same time singing in a squeaky, high-pitched voice.<\/i><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Deedle deedle deedle deedle dee.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: No, but \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola strides to the rear of the office and taps emphatically on the framed records.<\/i><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Sure, this one\u2019s for violin, this one\u2019s for oboe. This one\u2019s in A major, this one\u2019s in D. But you know what people are saying, Tony?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: No.<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: That you\u2019ve only really written 50 concertos and that we\u2019ve just remixed and re-released each one ten times.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: I \u2013\u00a0Who\u2019s saying that?<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Well, me. I\u2019m saying that.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: What? You\u2019re my manager.<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: I know. That\u2019s how bad it is.<\/p>\n

Mottola sits back down.<\/i><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Wait. Is that what I said? I think that what I said was that you\u2019ve only written ten<\/i> concertos and we\u2019ve remixed each one fifty<\/i> times.<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: You said what?<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Who remembers? I mean, Louis the frikkin\u2019 Fifteenth, yeah? My God, the parties. I was drinking. Dosed up on xanax like usual to make it through awards season. Someone\u2019s yapping, \u2018I like his old stuff better than his new stuff\u2019, and I\u2019m \u2013<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: What about Bach then?<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Bach? What about him?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: He\u2019s doing another twenty-four preludes and fugues for clavier.<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Oh, I love that one \u2013\u00a0how does it go? Diddle-iddle-iddle diddle-iddle-iddle diddle-iddle-iddle \u2013<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: C Sharp. BWV 848.<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Yeah, right. Man, he really has to get his people to work on the titles. I know it\u2019s all precision German engineering, but still. BWV 848. What even is that?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: But he\u2019s doing another twenty-four. Same key cycle and everything. Major, minor, chromatic, ascending from C. And nobody\u2019s accusing him of milking a dry cow.<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: I guess. He\u2019s with Stock, Aitken, Waterman now. That\u2019s how they roll.<\/p>\n

He takes a sip of water.<\/i><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: OK, Tony, you\u2019re right. Who cares, huh? Give \u2018em what they want. So, these concertos \u2013\u00a0what we got?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: The Four Seasons. Each concerto\u2019s a season. Spring, summer, autumn, winter \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Yeah, I know how the seasons go. At this point in your career, you really want to do a concept album?<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: \u2013 with, you know, drunks sleeping it off in the middle of autumn and the music\u2019s all lazy and strung-out. Then the snow and ice in winter is all \u2018plink-plink-plink\u2019 \u2013<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: (warming to the idea) OK. OK. I can hear that \u2013<\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: And there\u2019s a huge thunder storm during summer, \u201cJink! zhugazhugazhugha Jink! zhuguzhugazhuga Jink! zhugazhughazhuga Jink! zhughazhugazhuga.\u2019<\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: \u2018Jink! zhugazhuga.\u2019 That could work.<\/p>\n

From beneath the manuscript pages, the William Tell overture ringtone on Mottola\u2019s phone sounds. Mottola distractedly shovels pages aside trying to find the phone.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n

Vivaldi<\/em>: So, what do you think?<\/p>\n

Finally, Mottola claws the phone out. Checking the the display, he holds one finger up.<\/i><\/p>\n

Mottola<\/em>: Tony, I got to take this.<\/p>\n

File under<\/em>: decompositions | baroque production values |<\/p>\n

(Image source: wikimedia<\/a>)<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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